We Are No the Leaders. We Thought We Were.
I have never defined myself as a leader during my career and life. Why? You may ask. Because I do not believe we can define ourselves as leaders, others can do that. As I posted another day, leadership is a quality others see in you, not that you see in yourself. That would be presumptions. I have been called a leader several times during my career. I struggle with this, as when I think about a leader, I tend to look up to people such as Nelson Mandela, Steve Jobs, Richard Branson, Bill Clinton, Martin Luther King and Barack Obama, who changed the world we live in.
As a sales manager and commercial director for world-leading companies, I managed and led teams to grow revenue and profitability with executive management recognised these achievements as a signal of my excellent leadership skills.
Lead from the back — and let others believe they are in front.
Mandela, N. (n.d.)
I used to say that I trusted my team so much that I could jump from the tenth floor, and I knew one of them would be there to catch me. This was always present until the day I left the company. Most people did not express sorry that I was leaving, and almost one year later, I lost contact with most of them. Why? Where did I go so wrong on thinking I was a leader? What did I do wrong? Then it daunted me, a performance and development conversation with one of my staff. After we terminated the review, I asked for feedback during that conversation about what I could do better and what I did well. He told me, “you are a great manager. I learned that people are important to achieve business results”. That is it. For him, I was a manager, not a leader!
I used to say that I trusted my team so much that I could jump from the tenth floor, and I knew one of them would be there to catch me. This was always present until the day I left the company. Most people did not express sorry that I was leaving, and almost one year later, I lost contact with most of them. Why? Where did I go so wrong on thinking I was a leader? What did I do wrong? Then it daunted me, a performance and development conversation with one of my staff. After we terminated the review, I asked for feedback during that conversation about what I could do better and what I did well. He told me, “you are a great manager. I learned that people are important to achieve business results”. That is it. For him, I was a manager, not a leader!
Improve your leadership skills
So, sometimes, we are not the leaders we think we are. So I started to research, read, and improve my leadership skills. Herewith is what I learned (not exhaustive and not by order of importance, so I sort them by alphabetic order):
- Act with integrity and intentionally
- Be authentic and respectful
- Be empathic and compassionated
- Care and make sure everyone matters
- Communicate your vision and mission authentically, and intentionally
- Create a vision and a mission
- Empower and delegate to others
- Listen actively, to understand not to respond
Sometimes, living these actions is not enough. They do not resonate with everyone else. So our attributes, values, and consistent behaviour are more critical for authentic leadership.
Final thoughts.
Maybe I am not showing self-compassion, and I am too hard on myself when facing brutal facts, and perhaps as we say, “it is just life. Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose”. Although others define you as a leader, one must be cognizant that on some occasions, you are not the leader you think you are. My key learning is that you are a good manager for some people; you are a leader for others. Another teaching is that your vision, mission, and inspiration by walking the talk do not need to resonate with everyone as I thought at the beginning of my career.
DISCLAIMER. The views and opinions expressed in this newsletter/blog are those of the author, and they are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organisation, company, individual or anyone or anything.